Category action/adventure

2006: #51 – The Carnivorous Carnival (Lemony Snicket)

carnival.gifBook #51 was The Carnivorous Carnival, book the ninth in Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events. The back of the book reads:

Everybody loves a carnival! Who can fail to delight in the colorful people, the unworldly spectacle, the fabulous freaks? A carnival is a place for good family fun, as long as one has a family, that is. For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at a carnival turns out to be yet another episode in a now unbearable series of unfortunate events. In fact, in this appalling ninth installment in Lemony Snicket’s serial, the siblings must confront a terrible lie, an ambidextrous person, a caravan, and Chabo the wolf baby.

I’m still enjoying these. They’re great for listening to in the car. And I like how the Baudelaires are growing. Sonny no longer has to be translated every time she speaks! Plus, the mystery is getting more mysterious, and the endings are getting more unexpected! I’ll probably start the next one after I get back from vacation.

Book count: 51
Pages in book: 304
Page count: 19,842
Words in book: 44,242

Word count: 5,675,271

1,000,000 words surpassed — 2/2/06
2,000,000 words surpassed — 2/14/06
10,000 pages surpassed — 3/10/06
3,000,000 words surpassed — 3/16/06
4,000,000 words surpassed — 4/3/06
5,000,000 words surpassed — 5/30/06
50 books surpassed – 6/12/06

2006: #50 – The Hostile Hospital (Lemony Snicket)

hospital.gifBook #50 was The Hostile Hospital, the 8th book in Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events. The back of the book reads:

Dear Reader,

Before you throw this awful book to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, you should probably know why. This book is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children’s miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world.

There are many pleasant things to read about, but this books contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as misleading newspaper headlines, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about such things.

I have sworn to research this story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this book is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

I *finally* finished listening to this in the car last night. I’m glad he’s continued to shake up the pattern of events in the book. The end of this one was the best cliffhanger yet. I think this may have been the longest book so far.

Book count: 50
Pages in book: 255
Page count: 19,538
Words in book: 38,131

Word count: 5,631,029

1,000,000 words surpassed — 2/2/06
2,000,000 words surpassed — 2/14/06
10,000 pages surpassed — 3/10/06
3,000,000 words surpassed — 3/16/06
4,000,000 words surpassed — 4/3/06
5,000,000 words surpassed — 5/30/06
50 books surpassed – 6/12/06

2006: #2 – Cyclops (Clive Cussler)

cyclops

Title: Cyclops
Author: Clive Cussler
Series: Dirk Pitt #08
Pages:  473

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

A wealthy American financier disappears on a treasure hunt in an antique blimp. From Cuban waters, the blimp drifts toward Florida with a crew of dead men — Soviet cosmonauts. DIRK PITT discovers a shocking scheme: a covert group of U.S. industrialists has put a colony on the moon, a secret base they will defend at any cost. Threatened in space, the Russians are about to strike a savage blow in Cuba — and only DIRK PITT can stop them. From a Cuban torture chamber to the cold ocean depths, Pitt is racing to defuse an international conspiracy that threatens to shatter the earth!

My thoughts:

Book #2 of 2006 was Cyclops, the 8th book in Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt series.

I wasn’t thrilled with this installment. For me, it was more Tom Clancy than Clive Cussler. Too much politics, not enough adventure! And it was missing that special brand of humor that usually peppers a Cussler novel. I was quite blah about it.

Book count: 2
Pages in book: 473
Page count: 859
Words in book:
142,983
Word count:251,162

2005: #59 – Eleven on Top (Janet Evanovich)

eleven

Title: Eleven on Top
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #11
Pages:  320

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Stephanie Plum is thinking her career as a fugitive apprehension agent has run its course. She’s been shot at, spat at, cussed at, fire-bombed, mooned, and attacked by dogs. Time for a change, Stephanie thinks. Time to find the kind of job her mother can tell her friends about without making the sign of the cross.

So Stephanie Plum quits. Resigns. No looking back. No changing her mind. She wants something safe and normal. As it turns out, jobs that are safe and normal for most people aren’t necessarily safe and normal for Stephanie Plum. Trouble follows her, and the kind of trouble she had at the bail bonds office can’t compare to the kind of trouble she finds herself facing now. Her past has come back to haunt her. She’s stalked by a maniac returned from the grave for the sole purpose of putting her into a burial plot of her own. He’s killed before and he’ll kill again if given the chance. Caught between staying far away from the bounty hunter business and staying alive, Stephanie reexamines her life and the possibility that being a bounty hunter is the solution rather than the problem. After disturbingly brief careers at the button factory, Kan Klean Dry Cleaners, and Cluck-in-a-Bucket, Stephanie takes an office position in security, working for Ranger, the sexiest, baddest bounty hunter and businessman on two continents. It might not be the job she’ll keep for the rest of her life, but for now it gives her the technical access she needs to find her stalker. Tempers and temperatures rise as competition ratchets up between the two men in her life – her on-again, off-again boyfriend, tough Trenton cop Joe Morelli, and her badass boss, Ranger.

Book #59 was Eleven on Top, the eleventh book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

I went out to Barnes and Noble on my way home last night (yes, last night) and picked this up. The waiting list at the library was 67 days, so what’s a girl to do? Now I’m kind of sad that I’ve read them all. I guess I’ll have to be patient for Janet Evanovich to write more.

Book count: 59
Pages in book: 320
Page count: 20,891

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #58 – Ten Big Ones (Janet Evanovich)

tenbigones

Title: Ten Big Ones
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #10
Pages:  312

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

She’s accidentally destroyed a dozen cars. She’s a target for every psycho and miscreant this side of the Jersey Turnpike. Her mother’s convinced she’ll end up dead . . . or worse, without a man. She’s Stephanie Plum, and she kicks butt for a living (well, she thinks it sounds good to put it that way. . . .).

It begins as an innocent trip to the deli-mart, on a quest for nachos. But Stephanie Plum and her partner, Lula, are clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. A robbery leads to an explosion, which leads to the destruction of yet another car. It would be just another day in the life of Stephanie Plum, except that she becomes the target of a gang – and of an even scarier, more dangerous force that comes to Trenton. With super bounty hunter Ranger acting more mysteriously than ever (and the tension with vice cop Joe Morelli getting hotter), she finds herself with a decision to make: how to protect herself and where to hide while on the hunt for a killer known as the Junkman. There’s only one safe place, and it has Ranger’s name all over it – if she can find it. And if the Junkman doesn’t find her first. With Lula riding shotgun and Grandma Mazur on the loose, Stephanie Plum is racing against the clock.

Book #58 was Ten Big Ones, the tenth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Yup, another good one.

Book count: 58
Pages in book: 312
Page count: 20,571

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #57 – To The Nines (Janet Evanovich)

nines

Title: To the Nines
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #09
Pages:  352

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Stephanie Plum’s got rent to pay, people shooting at her, and psychos wanting her dead every day of the week (much to the dismay of her mother, her family, the men in her life, the guy who slices meat at the deli…oh, the list goes on). An ordinary person would cave under the pressure.

But hey, she’s from Jersey.

Stephanie Plum may not be the best bounty hunter in beautiful downtown Trenton, but she’s pretty darn good at turning bad situations her way…and she always gets her man. In To The Nines, her cousin Vinnie (who’s also her boss) has posted bail on Samuel Singh, an immigrant who becomes an illegal alien by violating his Visa and extending his stay in the United States. When the elusive Mr. Singh goes missing, Stephanie is on the case. But what she uncovers is far more sinister than anyone imagines and leads to a group of killers who give new meaning to the word “hunter…”

In a race against time that takes her from the Jersey Turnpike to the Vegas strip, Stephanie Plum is on the chase of her life.

Book #57 was To the Nines, the ninth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Just to emphasize how much I’ve been reading, I read both this book and the previous one yesterday. And 155 pages of the next one. I think my stress level is finally dropping, so maybe I can do something else with my life soon.

Book count: 57
Pages in book: 352
Page count: 20,259

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #56 – Hard Eight (Janet Evanovich)

hardeight

Title: Hard Eight
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #08
Pages:  320

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Fugitive Apprehension Agent Stephanie Plum has a big problem on her hands: Seven-year-old Annie Soder and her mother, Evelyn, have disappeared. Evelyn’s estranged husband, Steven, a shady owner of a seedy bar, is not at all happy. During the divorce proceedings, he and Evelyn had signed a child custody bond, and Steven is demanding the money guaranteed by the bond to find Annie. The money was secured by a mortgage on Evelyn’s grandmother’s house, and the True Blue Bonds Bail Agency wants to take possession of the house.

Finding a kidnapped child is not an assignment for a bounty hunter. But Evelyn’s grandmother lives next door to Stephanie’s parents, and Stephanie’s mother and grandmother are not about to see their neighbor lose her house because of the abduction.

Even though Stephanie’s plate is full with miscreants who missed their court dates, including old nemesis and violent drunk Andy Bender and an elusive little old lady accused of grand theft auto, she can’t disappoint Grandma Mazuri. So she follows the trail left by Annie and Evelyn – and finds a lot more than she bargained for. Steven is somehow linked with a very scary Eddie Abruzzi. Trenton cop and on-again, off-again fiance Joe Morelli and Stephanie’s mentor and tormentor, Ranger, warn Stephanie about Abruzzi, but it’s Abruzzi’s eyes and mannerisms that frighten Stephanie most. Stephanie needs Ranger’s savvy and expertise, and she’s willing to accept his help to find Annie even though it might mean getting too involved with Ranger.

Stephanie, Ranger, Lula (who’s not going to miss riding with Ranger) and Evelyn’s lawyer/laundromat manager set out to find Annie. The search turns out to be a race among Stephanie’s posse, the True Blue Bonds’ agent, a Rangerette known as Jeanne Ellen Burrows, and the Abruzzi crew. Not to mention the fact that there’s a killer rabbit on the loose.

Book #56 was Hard Eight, the eighth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Just when you think Stephanie can’t get herself into more trouble…

Book count: 56
Pages in book: 320
Page count: 19,907

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #55 – Seven Up (Janet Evanovich)

sevenup

Title: Seven Up
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #07
Pages:  352

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Semiretired mob guy Eddie DeChooch is caught trafficking contraband cigarettes through Trenton, New Jersey. When DeChooch fails to show for a court appearance, bond enforcement agent Stephanie Plum is assigned the task of finding him and dragging his decrepit ass back to jail. Not such an easy job, it turns out, since DeChooch has learned a lot of tricks over the years and isn’t afraid to use his gun. He’s already shot Loretta Ricci, an innocent old lady, and left her for worm food in his shed. He wouldn’t mind shooting Stephanie next.

Likable losers (and Steph’s former high school classmates) Walter “MoonMan” Dunphy and Dougie “The Dealer” Kruper have inadvertently become involved with DeChooch. They’ve gotten sucked into an operation that is much more than simple cigarette smuggling and holds risks far greater than anyone could have imagined.

When Dougie disappears, Steph goes into search mode. When Mooner disappears, she calls in the heavy artillery and asks master bounty hunter Ranger for help. Ranger’s price for the job? One night with Stephanie, dusk to dawn. Not information she’d want to share with her sometime live-in roommate, vice cop Joe Morelli.

A typical dilemma in the world of Plum. And on the homefront, Stephanie’s “perfect” sister, Valerie, has decided to move back to Trenton, bringing her two kids from hell with her. Grandma Mazur is asking questions about being a lesbian, and Bob, the bulimic dog, is eating everything in sight – including the furniture.

Book #55 was Seven Up, the seventh book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

You know the drill.

Book count: 55
Pages in book: 352
Page count: 19,587

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #54 – Hot Six (Janet Evanovich)

hotsix

Title: Hot Six
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #06
Pages:  294

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Bounty hunter Stephanie Plum and Trenton vice cop Joe Morelli join forces to find the madman killer who shot and barbecued the youngest son of international black-market arms dealer Alexander Ramos.

Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, is caught on video just minutes before the crime occurs. He’s at the scene, he’s with the victim, and he’s the number-one suspect. Ranger is former special forces turned soldier of fortune. He has a blue-chip stock portfolio and no known address. He moves in mysterious circles. He’s Stephanie’s mentor–the man who taught her everything she knows about fugitive apprehension. And he’s more than her friend.

Now he’s the hunted and Stephanie’s the hunter, and it’s time for her to test her skills against the master. But if she does catch him…what then? Can she bring herself to turn him in?

Plus there are other things keeping Stephanie awake at night. Her maternal grandmother has set up housekeeping in Stephanie’s apartment, a homicidal maniac has selected Stephanie as his next victim, her love life is in the toilet, she’s adopted a dog with an eating disorder, and she can’t button the top snap on her Levi’s.

Experience the world of Plum–in Janet Evanovich’s new thriller. It’s surreal, it’s frenetic, it’s incendiary. Hot Six. It’s the best yet.

Book #54 was Hot Six, the sixth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Still liking them. And come on! Now there’s Bob! You have to love Bob!

Book count: 54
Pages in book: 294
Page count: 19,235

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #53 – High Five (Janet Evanovich)

highfive

Title: High Five
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #05
Pages:  292

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Bail jumping in Trenton is down to small potatoes. Stephanie’s only open case is a small bond for a small violation, committed by a small person who raises Stephanie’s frustration level in big ways. So, short of money and long on bills, Stephanie comes up with a plan – diversify! Signing on as an intern with entrepreneurial Super Bounty Hunter Ranger, Stephanie ventures into Ranger’s mostly morally correct and marginally legal operations..

None of this makes vice cop Joe Morelli a happy man. The cop in him can’t help but wonder as to the source of Stephanie’s expensive new car. And the rest of him, the man who’s been friend and lover to Stephanie, can’t help but wonder if there’s more to the partnership than meets the eye..

The internship is downgraded to second priority when Uncle Fred goes missing. Even though Grandma Mazur is sure he was abducted by aliens, Stephanie sets out to look for Fred. He’s a perfectly average senior citizen, and he’s disappeared without a trace while running errands. He’s left his ten-year-old Pontiac station wagon locked up nice and neat in the Grand Union parking lot, the cleaning is carefully arranged in the backseat, and his wife is at home, waiting for him to return with the bread and the milk and the olive-loaf bologna. Locked in the top drawer of his desk are photos of a body, dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag. And locked away in the computer files of another average citizen are the clues that will lead Stephanie to Fred.

Book #53 was High Five, the fifth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Refer to my previous comments about this series. They still apply.

Book count: 53
Pages in book: 292
Page count: 18,941

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #52 – Four to Score (Janet Evanovich)

fourscore

Title: Four to Score
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #04
Pages:  294

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Working for her bail bondsman cousin Vinnie, Stephanie Plum is hot on the trail of revenge-seeking waitress Maxine Nowicki, whose crimes include bail jumping, theft, and extortion. Someone is terrifying Maxine’s friends, and those who have seen her are turning up dead. Also on the hunt for Maxine is Joyce Barnhardt, Stephanie’s archenemy and rival bounty hunter. Stephanie’s attitude never wavers – even when aided by crazy Grandma Mazur, ex-hooker and wannabe bounty hunter Lula, and transvestite rock musician Sally Sweet – and even when Stephanie makes an enemy whose deadly tactics escalate from threatening messages to firebombs.

Book #52 was Four to Score, the fourth book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

It’s about this time in the series that you start to lose track of just how many cars Stephanie’s lost, and how many times she’s almost slept with someone. Not to mention, how many times her gun and/or pepper spray are somewhere else.

Book count: 52
Pages in book: 294
Page count: 18,649

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #51 – Three to Get Deadly (Janet Evanovich)

threedeadly

Title: Three to Get Deadly
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #03
Pages:  344

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Stephanie Plum, the brassy babe in the powder blue Buick, is back, and she’s having a bad hair day – for the whole month of January. She’s been given the unpopular task of finding Mo Bedemier Trenton’s most beloved citizen, arrested for carrying concealed, gone no-show for his court appearance. And to make matters worse, she’s got Lula, a former hooker turned file clerk – now a wannabe bounty hunter – at her side, sticking like glue. Lula’s big and blonde and black, and itching to get the chance to lock up a crook in the trunk of her car. Morelli, the New Jersey vice cop with the slow-burning smile that undermines a girl’s stronger resolve is being polite. So what does this mean? Has he found a new love? Or is he manipulating Steph, using her in his police investigation, counting on her unmanageable curiosity and competitive Jersey attitude? Once again, the entire One for the Money crew is in action, including Ranger and Grandma Mazur, searching for Mo, tripping down a trail littered with dead drug dealers, leading Stephanie to suspect Mo has traded his ice-cream scoop for a vigilante gun. Cursed with a disastrous new hair color and an increasing sense that it’s really time to get a new job, Stephanie spirals and tumbles through Three to Get Deadly with all the wisecracks and pace her fans have come to expect.

Book #51 was Three to Get Deadly, the third book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

I really like these books. Which will be evident when you see how many of them I’m about to blog about. I’ve just been sucked in by the characters, from Stephanie, to Grandma Mazur, to Lula, to Ranger, to Joe, to Rex.

It doesn’t hurt that I’ve been dealing with house stress by hiding in books.

Book count: 51
Pages in book: 344
Page count: 18,355

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!
50 book goal reached 7/19/05!

2005: #50 – Two for the Dough (Janet Evanovich)

twoforthedough

Title: Two for the Dough
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #02
Pages:  301

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Stephanie is after a new bail jumper, Kenny Mancuso, a boy from Trenton’s burg. He’s fresh out of the army, suspiciously wealthy, and he’s just shot his best friend. With her bounty hunter pal Ranger stepping in occasionally to advise her, Stephanie staggers knee-deep in corpses and caskets as she traipses through back streets, dark alleys, and funeral parlors. And nobody knows funeral parlors better than Stephanie’s irrepressible Grandma Mazur, a lady whose favorite pastime is grabbing a front-row seat at a neighborhood wake. So Stephanie uses Grandma as a cover to follow leads, but loses control when Grandma warms to the action, packing a cool pistol. Much to the family’s chagrin, Stephanie and Granny may soon have the elusive Kenny in their sights. Low on expertise but learning fast, high on resilience, and despite the help she gets from friends and relatives, Stephanie eventually must face the danger alone when embalmed body parts begin to arrive on her doorstep and she’s targeted for a nasty death by the most loathsome adversary she’s ever encountered. Another case like this and she’ll be a real pro.

This was a short one, I finished it today!

Book #50 was Two for the Dough, the second book in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

I’m really liking this series. Very amusing and entertaining. I was ready to move on to the next book when I realized that while I have #4, #3 is not yet in my possession. Maybe I’ll actually have to go to the library or something crazy like that.

And what am I doing now that I’ve reached 50 books? Well, I’m certainly not going to stop reading. I guess I’ll just have to come up with a different title.

Book count: 50/50 – 100%
Pages in book: 301
Page count: 18,011

15,000 page goal reached 6/14/05!

2005: #24 – The Vile Village (Lemony Snicket)

vilevillage

Title: The Vile Village
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: Series of Unfortunate Events #07
Format: Audio
Audiobook length: 4 hrs 11 min

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Sadly, Lemony Snicket continues to research the increasingly distressing plight of the unfortunate Baudelaire orphans, and offers up another awful episode of their terrible lives. In this seventh book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the unlucky siblings are residents of an unnerving village, where they encounter a flock of crows, a strict council, a prison break, a censored library, a harpoon gun, and a hot-air balloon.

The wretched adventures of the charming Baudelaires are exquisitely dark comedies, both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. The multi-talented Lemony Snicket spins another uproariously unhappy tale about three captivating and resilient orphans facing yet another bout of outrageous misfortune.

Book #24 was Book the Seventh in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Vile Village.

Between weeding last night and driving to work this morning, I finally managed to finish this book. I think I enjoyed this one more than the last few. The formula was shaken up a bit. And I’ve never heard “deus ex machina” explained so well!

Only 4 left! I’m not sure what I’m going to listen to when I’m done with these.

Book count: 24/50 — 48%
Pages in book: 256
Page count: 7,387/15,000 — 49.25%

2005: #23 – Blue Gold (Clive Cussler)

bluegold

Title: Blue Gold
Author: Clive Cussler
Series: NUMA Files #02
Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

From deep within the Venezuelan rain forest emanates the legend of a white goddess and a mysterious tribe with startling technical accomplishments. Few believe the tribe exists – and even fewer suspect its deity may hold knowledge that can change the course of history.

For National Underwater & Marine Agency crew leader Kurt Austin, an investigation into the sudden deaths of rare whales leads him to the Mexican coast, where someone tries to put him and his mini-sub permanently out of commission. Meanwhile, in South America’s lush hills, a specially assigned NUMA crew turns up the white-goddess legend and a murderous cadre of bio-pirates intent on stealing medicinal secrets worth millions. Soon Austin and his crew realize they’re working the opposite ends of the same grand scheme. A billionaire California tycoon is posed to rise to power by monopolizing the earth’s vastly depleted freshwater reserves and ultimately dominate the world.

Austin has a hunch Venezuela’s mythical tribal goddess has some real roots in science, and may be the key to locating a secret formula that could turn vast amounts of seawater into fresh. But with each step into the bush, he and his NUMA team feel like fish out of water – and must fight a deadly, twisting trail of enemies through a dense jungle of treachery, blackmail and murder.

Book #23 was Blue Gold, by Clive Cussler. Instead of the usual Cussler protagonist, Dirk Pitt, this book is the second in a series focusing on a new hero, Kurt Austin.

These are fun books for me to read. Very James Bond-ish. Except Kurt Austin is less of a devil with the ladies than good ol’ Dirk Pitt. At least there’s something different about their characters. Regardless, I like Cussler’s stories, no matter how outlandish and silly they are.

Book count: 23/50 — 46%
Pages in book: 416
Page count: 7,131/15,000 — 47.54%

2005: #21 – The Ersatz Elevator (Lemony Snicket)

ersatzelevator

Title: The Ersatz Elevator
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: Series of Unfortunate Events #06
Format: Audio
Audiobook length: 4 hrs 17 min

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming, I’m sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster and woe. In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway, and pinstripe suits.Both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted, A Series of Unfortunate Events offers an exquisitely dark comedy in the tradition of Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl. Lemony Snicket’s uproariously unhappy books continue to win readers, despite all his warning.

Book #21 was Book the Sixth of A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Ersatz Elevator.

Another winner from Mr. Snicket. I even learned a new word — ersatz! How I escaped 6th grade vocabulary without that gem, I’ll never know.

P.S. I’m extremely glad that Tim Curry is back reading these books. He adds so much to it.

Book count: 21/50 — 42%
Page count: 6,187/15,000 — 41.25%

2005: #16 – The Austere Academy (Lemony Snicket)

austereacademy

Title: The Austere Academy
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: Series of Unfortunate Events #05
Format: Audio
Audiobook length: 3 hrs 15 min

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Dear Reader,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don’t. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night’s sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Book 16 was A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Fifth — The Austere Academy.

Mr. Snicket switched things up a little bit here. Unlike the first 4 books, this book didn’t end with Count Olaf quickly escaping and the Baudelaires just left to move on to a new home. Nope, this book ends with a kidnapping! There also was the introduction of a couple of new recurring characters, Isadora and Duncan, the Quagmire triplets (don’t ask). I was starting to wonder if I was going to want to finish the rest of these, but the last third of this book sucked me back in.

Page count: 4,490/15,000 — 29.93%

2005: #12 – The Miserable Mill (Lemony Snicket)

miserablemill

Title: The Miserable Mill
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: Series of Unfortunate Events #04
Format: Audio
Audiobook length: 2 hrs 51 min

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

Dear Reader,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.

The pages of this book, I’m sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.

I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Book number 12 was Lemony Snicket’s fourth book, The Miserable Mill.

More of the same. I feel like I’m starting to get a little bogged down in them, so I think that after I finish the next one, I’m going to start alternating them with some other audio books. I think I’m coming down with Baudelaire overload.

Page count: 3,485/15,000

2005: #11 – The Wide Window (Lemony Snicket)

widewindow

Title: The Wide Window
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: Series of Unfortunate Events #03
Format: Audio
Audiobook length: 3hrs 4 min

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Dear Reader,

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.

If you haven’t got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signaling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.

I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

I finished book #11 on my mp3 player while on the treadmill last night. It was the third book in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Wide Window.

I’ve already expressed my dissatisfaction with Lemony Snicket as audio book narrator, but the book itself was fine. They’re getting a little formulaic, but you have to learn to lower your expectations when you’re reading books meant for children. And even I learned something from the little grammar, vocabulary, and history tidbits woven into the story. I’ve already started the 4th book.

Extra note: I noticed while perusing the 50 book challenge LiveJournal that there’s a second challenge joined with it — to read 15,000 pages. I might as well start logging pages too. I’m going to backtrack and put in the page totals for everything I’ve read so far.

Page count: 3,291/15,000

2005: #8 – One for the Money (Janet Evanovich)

oneforthemoney

Title: One for the Money
Author: Janet Evanovich
Series: Stephanie Plum #01
Pages: 288

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

ONE FINE MESS Welcome to Trenton, New Jersey, home to wiseguys, average Joes, and Stephanie Plum, who sports a big attitude and even bigger money problems (since losing her job as a lingerie buyer for a department store). Stephanie needs cash-fast-but times are tough, and soon she’s forced to turn to the last resort of the truly desperate: family…

ONE FALSE MOVE Stephanie lands a gig at her sleazy cousin Vinnie’s bail bonding company. She’s got no experience. But that doesn’t matter. As does the fact that the bail jumper in question is local vice cop Joe Morelli. From the time he first looked up her dress to the time he first got into her pants, to the time Steph hit him with her father’s Buick, M-o-r-e-l-l-i has spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e. And now the hot guy is in hot water-wanted for murder…

ONE FOR THE MONEY Abject poverty is a great motivator for learning new skills, but being trained in the school of hard knocks by people like psycho prizefighter Benito Ramirez isn’t. Still, if Stephanie can nab Morelli in a week, she’ll make a cool ten grand. All she has to do is become an expert bounty hunter overnight-and keep herself from getting killed before she gets her man…

Book #8 was One for the Money, Janet Evanovich’s first book in her Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter! series. This was yet another quick read, especially when you’re sick and don’t have anything better to do than lay around reading and blowing your nose all day.

I was turned on to these books by my mother-in-law, who really enjoys them. This is the first I’ve read, and I’m happy to add them to my “detective” story collection. Quite entertaining. Stephanie is a fun character.

Since the next book I’m reading is only a 200 page paperback, I expect to have it finished by, oh, 4 this afternoon. At this rate, I’m going to hit 50 before summer! Which is good, since I have 207 more unread books on my bookshelf.

Page count: 2,556/15,000

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